|I've taken up photography because it's the only hobby where I can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail!|
|To the people who hate me:|
I couldn't help but notice that, 'Awesome' ends with 'me',
And 'Ugly' starts with 'you'!
|I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I'll get to you shortly!|
|You're dark and handsome. When it's dark, you're handsome!|
Girl: Finally I have figured out why you look so bad in pictures?
Boy: Really, why?
Girl: Because you are really ugly!
|Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once!|
|Sorry I didn't text you back;|
Because my phone recognized your number!
|May be you should eat some makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside.|
|Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!|
|Talking about me behind my back?|
That means my life is obviously more interesting than yours!