• I've taken up photography because it's the only hobby where I can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail!
    I've taken up photography because it's the only hobby where I can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail!
  • To the people who hate me:<br/>
Dear Haters,<br/>
I couldn't help but notice that, 'Awesome' ends with 'me',<br/>
And 'Ugly' starts with 'you'!
    To the people who hate me:
    Dear Haters,
    I couldn't help but notice that, 'Awesome' ends with 'me',
    And 'Ugly' starts with 'you'!
  • I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I'll get to you shortly!
    I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient, I'll get to you shortly!
  • You're dark and handsome. When it's dark, you're handsome!
    You're dark and handsome. When it's dark, you're handsome!
  • Insult:<br />
Girl: Finally I have figured out why you look so bad in pictures? <br />
Boy: Really, why?<br />
Girl: Because you are really ugly!
    Insult:
    Girl: Finally I have figured out why you look so bad in pictures?
    Boy: Really, why?
    Girl: Because you are really ugly!
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once!
    Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once!
  • Sorry I didn't text you back;<br/>
Because my phone recognized your number!
    Sorry I didn't text you back;
    Because my phone recognized your number!
  • May be you should eat some makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside.
    May be you should eat some makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside.
  • Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
    Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
  • Talking about me behind my back?<br/>
That means my life is obviously more interesting than yours!
    Talking about me behind my back?
    That means my life is obviously more interesting than yours!