• I never realized how short a month is until I started paying rent!Upload to Facebook
    I never realized how short a month is until I started paying rent!
  • Jail and Prison are synonyms, but Jailer and Prisoner are antonyms!Upload to Facebook
    Jail and Prison are synonyms, but Jailer and Prisoner are antonyms!
  • When charging my phone of my laptop battery, it's like I am giving it a blood transfusion!Upload to Facebook
    When charging my phone of my laptop battery, it's like I am giving it a blood transfusion!
  • I'm opening a gym called 'Resolutions'. It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks and then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year!Upload to Facebook
    I'm opening a gym called 'Resolutions'. It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks and then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year!
  • I am continually astonished by how quickly time passes, even though it's the most predictable thing in life!Upload to Facebook
    I am continually astonished by how quickly time passes, even though it's the most predictable thing in life!
  • A bad attitude is like a flat tyre, if you don't change it, you will never go anywhere!Upload to Facebook
    A bad attitude is like a flat tyre, if you don't change it, you will never go anywhere!
  • Origin of the word Assume<br/>
Ass U (&) Me<br/>
Now I know why our maths teacher said:<br/>
Let's assume...Upload to Facebook
    Origin of the word Assume
    Ass U (&) Me
    Now I know why our maths teacher said:
    Let's assume...
  • `Autocorrect` should be named `Autoassume`!Upload to Facebook
    "Autocorrect" should be named "Autoassume"!
  • We are living in an age dependent on technology, faster the speed of your internet the better the mood!Upload to Facebook
    We are living in an age dependent on technology, faster the speed of your internet the better the mood!
  • We spend five days a week pretending to be someone else in order to spend two days being who we are!Upload to Facebook
    We spend five days a week pretending to be someone else in order to spend two days being who we are!
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