|Primary source of income:|
When your mom gives you money to buy something and doesn't ask for the change back!
|I want my children to be independent headstrong people.|
Just not while I'm raising them!
|In 2000, only important people had your mobile number.|
In 2015, only important people have your landline number!
|Not everyone likes me;|
But not everyone matters!
|My kids have two volumes - Mute when sleeping and Metallica when awake!|
|Expect the bullshit but never accept it!|
|If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on!|
|Nowadays being online is more important than being on time!|
|I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me.|
Now I look around and wonder if I like them!
|If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.|