|Instead of presents this year, I'm giving everyone my opinion.|
|If you really think the environment is less important than the economy, try holding your breath while you count your money!|
|The difference between harrassment and flirting is your financial position!|
|The irony of growing up, and no longer having to get up early to catch a school bus, is that you eventually have to get up even earlier to make sure someone else catches the school bus!|
|Let children believe in Santa.|
You believe in essential oils and no one is ruining that for you!
|We attract what we are; not what we want!|
|Better to have loved and divorced...|
Than to be stuck with an idiot forever!
|In 50 years grandparents will be telling their kids the story of how grandad slid into grandmamas DM's and how romantic it was!|
|The human body is 90% water. So we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety!|
|Flirting with someone with whom there are chances of catching feelings is an extreme sport!|