|Light travels faster than sound.|
That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!
|Aging gracefully is an art.|
Aging disgracefully is an absolute blast!
|Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them!|
|Counting the number of hours left for me to get back to bed after waking up every day is my favourite hobby!|
|My extensive research has emphatically deuced that it is religion that divides people and humor that unites them!|
|Even mutual funds have maturity but some people don't!|
|As a kid, I didn't want to sleep cause I was scared of nightmares. Now, all I want to do is sleep cause life is worse than any nightmare!|
|Have you ever thought that fire trucks are actually water trucks!|
|Maximum truth has been told in bars with a glass of whiskey in hand and maximum lies have been told in courts with holy book in hand!|
|The most amazing thing about Google probably is that its creators couldn't use Google when creating it!|