• If you are single, don't be sad.<br/>
You're just missing out on big expenses, less self respect, unnecessary arguments, huge phone bills and some love!Upload to Facebook
    If you are single, don't be sad.
    You're just missing out on big expenses, less self respect, unnecessary arguments, huge phone bills and some love!
  • Primary source of income:<br/>
When your mom gives you money to buy something and doesn't ask for the change back!Upload to Facebook
    Primary source of income:
    When your mom gives you money to buy something and doesn't ask for the change back!
  • I want my children to be independent headstrong people.
    Just not while I'm raising them!
  • In 2000, only important people had your mobile number.<br/>
In 2015, only important people have your landline number!Upload to Facebook
    In 2000, only important people had your mobile number.
    In 2015, only important people have your landline number!
  • Not everyone likes me;<br/>
But not everyone matters!Upload to Facebook
    Not everyone likes me;
    But not everyone matters!
  • My kids have two volumes - Mute when sleeping and Metallica when awake!
  • Expect the bullshit but never accept it!Upload to Facebook
    Expect the bullshit but never accept it!
  • If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on!Upload to Facebook
    If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on!
  • Nowadays being online is more important than being on time!Upload to Facebook
    Nowadays being online is more important than being on time!
  • I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me.
    Now I look around and wonder if I like them!
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