|My entire life can be summed up in one sentence... "Well that didn't go as planned"!|
|Sometimes I wish I were a cartoon character so I could wear the same outfit every day!|
|Three things I will never understand:|
1. The meaning of life
2. The universe
3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
|If you only use shampoo, then you love your hair unconditionally!|
|There are two types of relationships:|
|I have decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume.|
That has got to be a marketable skill!
|I never finish anything, it's almost like I have a black belt in PARTIAL ARTS!|
|I have to admit that there's nothing better than a pre-bedtime nap!|
|What did I learn today?|
God is spiritual. Religion is not!
|I check my horoscope to see if there's an explanation for today's sufferings!|