|Why isn't Friday the 13th a long weekend?|
|A phone number is a secret passcode that you share with people to allow communication!|
|Men tell their daughters and sisters not to talk to strangers but get upset when women who don't know them don't want to talk to them!|
|Sometimes, the first step towards forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot!|
|For each action, there is an equal & opposite reaction, plus a social media overreaction!|
|If you are going on a vacation with your spouse and kids, it's not a vacation... It's a change of Location!|
Rich people stay rich by living like they're broke.
Broke people stay broke by living like they're rich!
|"No pain, no gain" is just another lie perpetuated by Big Pain to sell more pain!|
|The very first human that used sarcasm must have really had a hard time explaining that he was being sarcastic!|
|I wonder how many strangers have stories of me being that random person doing that weird thing that I didn't think anyone saw!|