• Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you!
    Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you!
  • A `lap` is a non-existent body part that imaginably exists only when you are sitting!
    A "lap" is a non-existent body part that imaginably exists only when you are sitting!
  • Have you ever realized that 9 minutes on the snooze are a lot faster than 9 minutes on the microwave?
    Have you ever realized that 9 minutes on the snooze are a lot faster than 9 minutes on the microwave?
  • Just realized that loudest word ever shouted is the word `quiet`!
    Just realized that loudest word ever shouted is the word `quiet`!
  • If you're introvert and attractive, you're mysterious. But if you're introvert and ugly, you qualify as a weirdo!
    If you're introvert and attractive, you're mysterious. But if you're introvert and ugly, you qualify as a weirdo!
  • I stress about stress before there's anything to stress about. Then I stress about stressing over stress that doesn't need to be stressed about. It's simply so stressful!
    I stress about stress before there's anything to stress about. Then I stress about stressing over stress that doesn't need to be stressed about. It's simply so stressful!
  • I prefer my dogs to people.<br/>
Atleast, their shit comes out the right end!
    I prefer my dogs to people.
    Atleast, their shit comes out the right end!
  • The internet is the only place where people talk endlessly to each other about how much they don't like talking to people!
    The internet is the only place where people talk endlessly to each other about how much they don't like talking to people!
  • Successful Adulting:<br/>
Not stabbing someone when you really want to!
    Successful Adulting:
    Not stabbing someone when you really want to!
  • Being an introvert allows me to care about humanity and despise human beings, simultaneously!
    Being an introvert allows me to care about humanity and despise human beings, simultaneously!