• I would be more inclined to grow up if I saw that it worked out for everyone else!
    I would be more inclined to grow up if I saw that it worked out for everyone else!
  • At the age of 28, my expected lifetime remaining is around 63%.<br/>
When I see my phone's battery at 63%, I feel like it's almost dead!
    At the age of 28, my expected lifetime remaining is around 63%.
    When I see my phone's battery at 63%, I feel like it's almost dead!
  • I wish reproducing was like Calculus.<br/>
That way stupid people wouldn't be able to do it!
    I wish reproducing was like Calculus.
    That way stupid people wouldn't be able to do it!
  • There are two reasons why people don't mind their own business:<br/>

1. No mind<br/>
2. No business
    There are two reasons why people don't mind their own business:
    1. No mind
    2. No business
  • No matter how big a hammer you use, you can't pound common sense into stupid people!
    No matter how big a hammer you use, you can't pound common sense into stupid people!
  • I hate how after an argument, I think about more clever stuff I could've said!
    I hate how after an argument, I think about more clever stuff I could've said!
  • Childhood: My dream car is Ferrari.<br/>
Adulthood: Just bought Verna, always wanted to buy one!
    Childhood: My dream car is Ferrari.
    Adulthood: Just bought Verna, always wanted to buy one!
  • <b>Attention:</b><br/>
All positions for stupid people in my life have been filled.<br/>
No more applicants need apply!
    Attention:
    All positions for stupid people in my life have been filled.
    No more applicants need apply!
  • Free WiFi can make you forget half of your life problems for a while!
    Free WiFi can make you forget half of your life problems for a while!
  • Things to learn about life:<br/>
'No.' is a complete sentence. It does not require justification or explanations!
    Things to learn about life:
    'No.' is a complete sentence. It does not require justification or explanations!