|In the middle of a trial, the judge asks the defendant:|
"You didn't bring your lawyer today?"
Defendant: No, your honour. I've decided to tell the truth!
|A lawyer was once arguing a matter for admission.|
The Judge, after perusing the judgment, remarked, "There is nothing in your case".
To which, the lawyer promptly replied, "I know there is nothing".
The Judge thereupon observed, "Then why did you file it?"
Pat came the reply from lawyer: "Because the client wanted your Lordship's opinion and not mine"!
A lawyer sent a text to his another lawyer friend
Lawyer 1: Hey Bro, need your support. She is online and said "I love you". What should I do?
Lawyer 2: First of all take a screenshot, documentation is most important!
|But for law enforcement and physics, I'd be unstoppable!|
|If you can't follow the laws, you'll sure have to follow lawyers!|
|Overheard while sitting in a court, after a girl passed by.|
Advocate 1: She has a Supreme Court figure.
Advocate 2: What do you mean?
Advocate 1: No Appeal!
|A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"|
"Sure do," replied the bartender.
"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator!
|Lawyer: Why do you want to divorce such a beautiful and lovely wife? |
Husband: Look at my shoe, it is also beautiful but only the wearer knows how much it pinches!
|What's the problem with lawyer jokes?|
Lawyers don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes!
|"You've been convicted 5 times of this offence - aren't you ashamed to own to that?"|
"No, your honour. I don't think one ought to be ashamed of his convictions!"