• But for law enforcement and physics, I'd be unstoppable!
    But for law enforcement and physics, I'd be unstoppable!
  • If you can't follow the laws, you'll sure have to follow lawyers!
    If you can't follow the laws, you'll sure have to follow lawyers!
  • Overheard while sitting in a court, after a girl passed by.
    Advocate 1: She has a Supreme Court figure.
    Advocate 2: What do you mean?
    Advocate 1: No Appeal!
  • A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"
    "Sure do," replied the bartender.
    "Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator!
  • Lawyer: Why do you want to divorce such a beautiful and lovely wife? <br/>
Husband: Look at my shoe, it is also beautiful but only the wearer knows how much it pinches!
    Lawyer: Why do you want to divorce such a beautiful and lovely wife?
    Husband: Look at my shoe, it is also beautiful but only the wearer knows how much it pinches!
  • What's the problem with lawyer jokes?
    Lawyers don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes!
  • `You've been convicted 5 times of this offence - aren't you ashamed to own to that?`<br/>
`No, your honour. I don't think one ought to be ashamed of his convictions!`
    "You've been convicted 5 times of this offence - aren't you ashamed to own to that?"
    "No, your honour. I don't think one ought to be ashamed of his convictions!"
  • What is a contingent fee?
    If the lawyer doesn't win your suit, he gets nothing;
    And if the lawyer does win it, you get nothing!
  • A lawyer says that a dangerous year in married life is the first. Then follows the second, third, fourth, fifth and so on!
  • What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
    A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight!
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT