• I don't understand why my wife always accuses me that I don't help her with housework.<br/>
I distinctly remember kicking an ice cube under the fridge last week!
    I don't understand why my wife always accuses me that I don't help her with housework.
    I distinctly remember kicking an ice cube under the fridge last week!
  • Her: At least, invite me out to dinner.<br/>
Him: I don't go out with married women, sorry.<br/>
Her: But I'm your wife.<br/>
Him: I make no exceptions!
    Her: At least, invite me out to dinner.
    Him: I don't go out with married women, sorry.
    Her: But I'm your wife.
    Him: I make no exceptions!
  • Before dying, his wife held his hands in hers... and said, `We'll meet again in heaven.`<br/>
Since then, he's been drinking, fighting, stealing, looting and plundering! Desperate to land in hell!
    Before dying, his wife held his hands in hers... and said, "We'll meet again in heaven."
    Since then, he's been drinking, fighting, stealing, looting and plundering! Desperate to land in hell!
  • Pro Tip:<br/>
If you want your wife to be attentive to what you say, try talking in your sleep!
    Pro Tip:
    If you want your wife to be attentive to what you say, try talking in your sleep!
  • My wife is so kind that she forgives me for all her mistakes!
    My wife is so kind that she forgives me for all her mistakes!
  • I'll never make fun of my wife for her weight.<br/>
I made a promise to her that I'll be with her through thick and thin!
    I'll never make fun of my wife for her weight.
    I made a promise to her that I'll be with her through thick and thin!
  • Your body at rest will continue to be at rest... until your wife notices and finds some work for you!
    Your body at rest will continue to be at rest... until your wife notices and finds some work for you!
  • Farmer: I love my job.<br/>
Wife: But all you do all day is round up cows.<br/>
Farmer: What did you say to me?<br/>
Wife: You herd!
    Farmer: I love my job.
    Wife: But all you do all day is round up cows.
    Farmer: What did you say to me?
    Wife: You herd!
  • Words for a long, happy marriage:<br/>
Yes Dear<br/>
I'm sorry<br/>
It's my fault
    Words for a long, happy marriage:
    Yes Dear
    I'm sorry
    It's my fault
  • Life is short. Get up, walk up to your wife and tell her she's wrong.<br/>
Now life is even shorter!
    Life is short. Get up, walk up to your wife and tell her she's wrong.
    Now life is even shorter!