• I never cried at weddings, except for the last one when the preacher asked me if I do!
    I never cried at weddings, except for the last one when the preacher asked me if I do!
  • Wife: Whose number is this. Who's she?<br/>
Husband: I don't know. Google must have put it there as they did for UIDAI!
    Wife: Whose number is this. Who's she?
    Husband: I don't know. Google must have put it there as they did for UIDAI!
  • Today, I'm celebrating National Girlfriend's Day the same way I celebrate it every year; behind my wife's back!
    Today, I'm celebrating National Girlfriend's Day the same way I celebrate it every year; behind my wife's back!
  • I don't like to be in the company of people who are more intelligent than me. <br/>
So I got married!
    I don't like to be in the company of people who are more intelligent than me.
    So I got married!
  • If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour.<br/>
When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you?
    If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour.
    When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you?
  • Got my heavy goods license today.<br/>
Or as my wife likes to call it `marriage certificate`!
    Got my heavy goods license today.
    Or as my wife likes to call it "marriage certificate"!
  • If ladies can decide what to wear and what to eat, half their life is sorted out; the other half anyway is dedicated to sorting out husband, children, relatives and colleagues!
    If ladies can decide what to wear and what to eat, half their life is sorted out; the other half anyway is dedicated to sorting out husband, children, relatives and colleagues!
  • Wife: Amitabh Bachchan is a really great actor. Sharab Na Peete Hue Bhi Sharab Peene Ki Kitni Achhi Acting Kar Lete Hain!<br/>
Husband to himself: Ab Isko Kaun Samjhaye Ki Sharab Na Pee Kar Peene Ki Acting Karne Se... SHarab Pee Kar, Na Peene Ki Acting Karna Kitna Mushkil Hai! Sach Mein Hamari Toh Koi Kadar Hi Nahi!<br/>
(Husband name not disclosed due to intolerance issues!)
    Wife: Amitabh Bachchan is a really great actor. Sharab Na Peete Hue Bhi Sharab Peene Ki Kitni Achhi Acting Kar Lete Hain!
    Husband to himself: Ab Isko Kaun Samjhaye Ki Sharab Na Pee Kar Peene Ki Acting Karne Se... SHarab Pee Kar, Na Peene Ki Acting Karna Kitna Mushkil Hai! Sach Mein Hamari Toh Koi Kadar Hi Nahi!
    (Husband name not disclosed due to intolerance issues!)
  • After her husband has gone back to refill his drink for the fifth time at a host's party, the wife looks at him and says, `Aren't you embarrassed to keep going back for more?`<br/>

Husband says, `Nope. I Keep telling them it's for you!`
    After her husband has gone back to refill his drink for the fifth time at a host's party, the wife looks at him and says, "Aren't you embarrassed to keep going back for more?"
    Husband says, "Nope. I Keep telling them it's for you!"
  • A wife went shopping and bought home a beautiful shirt for her husband who was impressed and asked, `How much did you pay?`
<br/>
She replied `It was given free with a ₹ 9000/- Saree. I liked the shirt so much, I decided to buy the saree`!
    A wife went shopping and bought home a beautiful shirt for her husband who was impressed and asked, "How much did you pay?"
    She replied "It was given free with a ₹ 9000/- Saree. I liked the shirt so much, I decided to buy the saree"!