|What a married man says after years of marriage:|
My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding, she doesn't Trust me & I don't Understand her!
|Wife sent a message to her husband:|
Don't forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office & Savita says 'Hi' to you.
Husband: Who is Savita?
Wife: Nobody, I was just making sure that you read my message!
|People say "marriage is forever" but actually divorce is forever!|
|I'm not saying the wife's fat but...|
She puts her belt on with a boomerang!
|What's it called when you agree to do something your wife asks you to do but still get in trouble for making the wrong facial expression when you agree to do it?|
|Husband: New age home appliances are equipped with WiFi.|
Wife: Why does a fridge need WiFi?
Husband: So it can Netflix and chill!
|My wife wanted a dog but I didn't, so we compromised and now we've a dog!|
Wife: Am I looking fat?
Wife: Shut up. Don't you ever dare talk to me!
|A sound advice from the wife is equal to 99% sound and 1% advice!|
|I never get in trouble with my wife. Because I never do anything until she asks me to do it!|