|Wife: Why do you wear your specs only when I come in?|
Husband: The doctor has asked me to wear my specs whenever I see a headache coming!
|Getting angry at somebody? Just think about the person... If the person is junior to you, count up to 10 and then talk.|
If the person is equal to you, count up to 30 and talk.
If the person is senior to you, count 100 and then talk.
If the person is your wife... keep counting!
|The most helpful tool in housekeeping is a guilty husband!|
|It's amazing how with each day, couples continue to discover new and creative ways to irritate the hell out of each other!|
|Husband was staring at a hoarding for a long time.|
The hoarding was of a beautiful girl with a mixer grinder.
Wife taps his arms gently and said, "Let's go home. The exchange offer is only on the mixer grinder!"
|Husband takes his wife to a disco, there's a man on the dance floor, moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works.|
Wife turns to her husband & sighs "You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him & I said no!"
Husband says "It looks like he's still out celebrating!"
|My wife gets annoyed if I mess with her red wine, so I've added fruit and lemonade to it and now she's Sangria than ever before!|
|Pro Tip to all wives:|
If you want to take out all your frustration on anyone, your husband is your easiest target. He is not listening anyway!
|My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean. I don't know why she's mad at me!|
|Wife: My head is hurting.|
Husband: Is your face hurting? Because it's killing me!