• My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys, I thought she was joking. <br/>
And then I saw her face...
    My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys, I thought she was joking.
    And then I saw her face...
  • It's funny when my wife gives me the silent treatment. <br/>
She actually thinks it's a punishment!
    It's funny when my wife gives me the silent treatment.
    She actually thinks it's a punishment!
  • Marriage is a competition between two people that who can live longer. Whoever wins gets all of other person's money and stuff!
    Marriage is a competition between two people that who can live longer. Whoever wins gets all of other person's money and stuff!
  • Wife: I think...<br/>
Husband: Exactly!<br/>
Wife: But I haven't said anything yet!<br/>
Husband: Doesn't matter. You're always right!
    Wife: I think...
    Husband: Exactly!
    Wife: But I haven't said anything yet!
    Husband: Doesn't matter. You're always right!
  • I never cried at weddings, except for the last one when the preacher asked me if I do!
    I never cried at weddings, except for the last one when the preacher asked me if I do!
  • Wife: Whose number is this. Who's she?<br/>
Husband: I don't know. Google must have put it there as they did for UIDAI!
    Wife: Whose number is this. Who's she?
    Husband: I don't know. Google must have put it there as they did for UIDAI!
  • Today, I'm celebrating National Girlfriend's Day the same way I celebrate it every year; behind my wife's back!
    Today, I'm celebrating National Girlfriend's Day the same way I celebrate it every year; behind my wife's back!
  • I don't like to be in the company of people who are more intelligent than me. <br/>
So I got married!
    I don't like to be in the company of people who are more intelligent than me.
    So I got married!
  • If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour.<br/>
When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you?
    If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour.
    When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you?
  • Got my heavy goods license today.<br/>
Or as my wife likes to call it `marriage certificate`!
    Got my heavy goods license today.
    Or as my wife likes to call it "marriage certificate"!