|My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys, I thought she was joking. |
And then I saw her face...
|It's funny when my wife gives me the silent treatment. |
She actually thinks it's a punishment!
|Marriage is a competition between two people that who can live longer. Whoever wins gets all of other person's money and stuff!|
|Wife: I think...|
Wife: But I haven't said anything yet!
Husband: Doesn't matter. You're always right!
|I never cried at weddings, except for the last one when the preacher asked me if I do!|
|Wife: Whose number is this. Who's she?|
Husband: I don't know. Google must have put it there as they did for UIDAI!
|Today, I'm celebrating National Girlfriend's Day the same way I celebrate it every year; behind my wife's back!|
|I don't like to be in the company of people who are more intelligent than me. |
So I got married!
|If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour.|
When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you?
|Got my heavy goods license today.|
Or as my wife likes to call it "marriage certificate"!