• Wife to husband: Happy New Year.<br/>
Husband: Promise?
    Wife to husband: Happy New Year.
    Husband: Promise?
  • My friends use to say, `There's plenty of fish in the sea`.<br/>
But looks like I ignored their advice and ended up marrying a whale!
    My friends use to say, "There's plenty of fish in the sea".
    But looks like I ignored their advice and ended up marrying a whale!
  • After years of threatening to leave, last night my wife finally broke my heart... <br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
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She has decided to stay!
    After years of threatening to leave, last night my wife finally broke my heart...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
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    She has decided to stay!
  • Don't bother getting married, just find a woman you don't like and give her a house!
    Don't bother getting married, just find a woman you don't like and give her a house!
  • A bad marriage is like a horrible job, you are happy to have one but always look out for other options!
    A bad marriage is like a horrible job, you are happy to have one but always look out for other options!
  • There was an English language competition. 2000 persons participated...<br/>
The competition was to write in one sentence about peace, calm & happiness.<br/>
The Award winner wrote, `My wife is sleeping.`<br/>
Judges hugged him with tears streaming down their cheeks when presenting the award!
    There was an English language competition. 2000 persons participated...
    The competition was to write in one sentence about peace, calm & happiness.
    The Award winner wrote, "My wife is sleeping."
    Judges hugged him with tears streaming down their cheeks when presenting the award!
  • Wife: Do I look fat?<br/>
Husband: Do I look stupid to answer that?
    Wife: Do I look fat?
    Husband: Do I look stupid to answer that?
  • When my wife makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail.<br/>
It heals me spiritually!
    When my wife makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail.
    It heals me spiritually!
  • All married men say after many years of marriage:<br/>
`Our marriage is based on trust and understanding.`<br/>
She doesn't trust me and I don't understand her!
    All married men say after many years of marriage:
    "Our marriage is based on trust and understanding."
    She doesn't trust me and I don't understand her!
  • My wife's left me because I've eaten far too much chocolate over the Christmas period. <br/>
I think this calls for a celebration!
    My wife's left me because I've eaten far too much chocolate over the Christmas period.
    I think this calls for a celebration!