• When you touch to feel, it's desire;
    When you don't touch and still feel, it's love;
    When you touch and still don't feel,
    ..
    ..
    ..
    It's your wife!
  • The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is...
    Just open the door and push her out.
  • I was playing Chess today. I beat my wife.
    .
    ..
    ...
    Then I went back to playing Chess.
  • Who says wives are difficult to please? They just want two things in life - Love & Labels!
  • Hey kids! Don't bother getting married, just find a woman you don't like and give her a house!
  • The relationship between husband & wife is very psychological. One is psycho and the other is logical.
  • Q: What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
    A: You can't hear a cribbing vitamin.
  • I lost 240 pounds in one day.
    .
    ..
    ...
    I divorced my wife!
  • What most women want is just YOU; after you have taken her to the Jeweller's and an overseas holiday!
  • Q: What's the difference between a woman's argument and a knife?
    A: A knife has a point.