|Friend: How's ur sex life?|
Man: As usual, Monday to Friday.
Friend: What about the weekends?
Man: Weekends? Oh! That time I'm at home, relaxing with my wife !
|Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.|
|While in bed after few years of marriage, husband and wife's HIPS meet each other more often than LIPS....|
|True friends stand behind u during ur bad times. Do u want a proof? Check out your marriage album. U'll find that all ur friends standing behind U|
|Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.|
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
|Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.|
|A man's silence can break a woman's heart into a thousand pieces while a woman's silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace!|
|Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?|
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
|If you never want to see a man again, say: I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children - they leave skid marks.|
|They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.|