• Friend: How's ur sex life?
    Man: As usual, Monday to Friday.
    Friend: What about the weekends?
    Man: Weekends? Oh! That time I'm at home, relaxing with my wife !
  • Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
  • While in bed after few years of marriage, husband and wife's HIPS meet each other more often than LIPS....
  • True friends stand behind u during ur bad times. Do u want a proof? Check out your marriage album. U'll find that all ur friends standing behind U
  • Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
    2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
  • Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.
  • A man's silence can break a woman's heart into a thousand pieces while a woman's silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace!
  • Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
    Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
  • If you never want to see a man again, say: I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children - they leave skid marks.
  • They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.