• My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.<br/>
I had to put my foot down!
    My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
    I had to put my foot down!
  • Don't go bacon my heart.<br/>
I couldn't if I fried!
    Don't go bacon my heart.
    I couldn't if I fried!
  • Which cheese can be used to hide a small horse?<br/>
Mascarpone!
    Which cheese can be used to hide a small horse?
    Mascarpone!
  • I blew up my Chemistry experiment.<br/>
Oxidants happen!
    I blew up my Chemistry experiment.
    Oxidants happen!
  • Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?<br/>
Mount Rushmore!
    Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?
    Mount Rushmore!
  • What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?<br/>
Maybe!
    What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
    Maybe!
  • If a snake married a mortician, what would their bath towels say?<br/>
Hiss and Hearse!
    If a snake married a mortician, what would their bath towels say?
    Hiss and Hearse!
  • If you don't like musical puns... you have my symphony!
    If you don't like musical puns... you have my symphony!
  • I tried to get reservations to a library, but they were completely booked!
    I tried to get reservations to a library, but they were completely booked!
  • Do not trust atoms.<br/>
They make up everything!
    Do not trust atoms.
    They make up everything!