• What do you call sad coffee?<br/>
Despresso!
    What do you call sad coffee?
    Despresso!
  • What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time?<br />
A: Lazy bones!
    What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time?
    A: Lazy bones!
  • What kind of robbery is least dangerous?<br/>
A safe robbery!
    What kind of robbery is least dangerous?
    A safe robbery!
  • A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips.
    "Are you the friar", he asks.
    "No. I'm the chip monk", he replies.
  • Soldier: The bullet struck my head and went careening into space.
    Friend: You're being candid about it, anyway!
  • Sea Captain: There is no hope! The ship is doomed! In an hour we will all be dead!
    Seasick Passenger: Thank God!
  • The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children!
    The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children!
  • Boy: Have you seen my pills? They 're labelled LSD.<br />
Grandmother: Never mind about your pills! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?`
    Boy: Have you seen my pills? They 're labelled LSD.
    Grandmother: Never mind about your pills! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?`
  • Did you hear about the two Mexican firefighters- Jose and Hose B?
  • Man 1: Shall we have a friendly game of cards?
    Man 2: No, let's play bridge!
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