• Pappu: I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for her birthday.
    Bunty: So what did she ask for?
    Pappu: She replied that "NOTHING would make me happier than diamonds".
    Bunty: So you get her diamonds?
    Pappu: No. I got her 'NOTHING'.
  • Pappu to his teacher, "I haven't got no pencil".
    The Teacher while correcting him:

    "You don't have any pencil."
    "He doesn't have any pencils."
    "We don't have any pencils."

    Pappu with a look of astonishment, "Where have all the pencils gone?`
  • Pappu's girlfriend told him to bring the PROTECTION next time they go on a date.
    Pappu brought
    3 cousins,
    25 friends and
    34 bodyguards with hockey sticks and weapons.
  • Once Pappu uploaded a photo holding a dog on Facebook.
    His girlfriend commented, "Which one is you?"
    Pappu replied, "The one holding you".
  • Teacher: Hey! Stand up.
    Pappu stands up reluctantly.
    Teacher: Tell me two pronouns.
    Pappu: Who? Me?
    .
    ..
    ...
    Teacher: Very good. Sit down.
  • Pappu: My girlfriend is like an iPad.
    Bunty: That's weird. But still, how?
    Pappu: I don't have an iPad.
  • Girl: How much do you love me?
    Pappu: My heart is my mobile and you are its SIM.
    Girl: Oh my God! I am so lucky.
    Pappu: Thank God, She doesn't know that mobile has dual SIMs.
  • Pappu: Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant, a lot has changed.
    Bunty: Like?
    Pappu: Like my name, address and telephone number.
  • Pappu: I got stopped by a cop last night. The officer said, "Do you have a police record?"
    Bunty: Then what happened?
    Pappu: I said, "Yes, 'Walking on the Moon' from 1979".
  • Pappu: Ma'm, why did Gandhi Ji and Einstein had little or no hair on their head?
    Teacher: Because of intelligence.
    Pappu: No wonder, girls have such long hair!