|Teacher: Your name and your homework, please.|
Punjabi Student: Nikita!
|Son: I hit a guy on road.|
Punjabi Mom ignores.
Son: Mummy Sabzi Gir Gayi Bed Pe.
Punjabi Mom: Idhar Aa Kutteya, Tainu Roti Vi Nahi Khani Aaundi!
|A boy proposed a girl:|
"I love you.
I was in love with you from the first time I saw you. I can do anything for you. You are my first and last wish. You are everything for me. I wish we marry and live happily forever. Please don't say no to me. You are my life."
Girl: Veere! Mainu Angreji Nahi Aaundi!
|Pappu: Kya Tum Mujhse Friendship Karogi?|
Girl: Main Itni Jaldi Trust Nahi Kar Sakti.
Pappu: Na Tu Trust Nu Mere Kol 10 Lakh Di Kameti Pauni Aa, Jo Main Lai Ke Bhaj Jau!
|A Punjaban's Apology:|
I am sorry but Galti Kutteya Teri Si!
|Best Traffic Advertisement of Year:|
Picture of Lord Ganesha holding a helmet with a saying, "Take care of your head, not everyone gets a replacement like me."
Punjabi version - Lord Ganesha holding a helmet and saying, "Ullu De Pattho... Helmet Pa Lo... Tuhada Bapu Shivji Nahi Hai!"
|Sab Dosta Nu Hath Jod Ke Benti Hai Ki Aaun Wale Dina Vich Activa, Motorcycle Holi Chalao... |
Eh Na Hove Aage Chhabeel Lagi Hove Te Tuhanu Pata Hi Na Lage!
|A Punjabi woman in London talking in English to a doctor about her sick child:|
My Kaka is ill Ek Week Da,
Na Eat Da, Na Sleep Da,
Bas Weep Da Te Cheek Da,
Nale Nak Vi Leak Da!
|Fakir: Koi Baba Nu Roti Khawa Do|
Baba Chawal Vi Kha Lena
Baba Icecream Vi Kha Lenda
Baba Burger Vi Kha Lenda
Baba Sandwich Vi Kha Lenda
Lady: Baba Juttiyan Vi Kha Lenda Ke Nahin?
Fakir: Na Puttar, Sakht Cheez Di Manai Hai...!
|Enjoy the finest of Punjabi poetry:|
Once there was a Crow;
Chandigarh Vich Baitha Si Oh.
Usne Peg Laye Si Do;
O Talli Geya Si Ho.
Ik Chiri Rahi Si Ro;
Crow Ne Ched Ditti Oh.
Utto Aa Geya Chiri Da Peo;
Chiri De Peo Ne Phir Kuttya Crow.
Crow Sharminda Geya Si Ho;
Hun Chiri Nu Bhain Kehnda Oh!