• Marriage is a competition between two people that who can live longer. Whoever wins gets all of other person's money and stuff!
    Marriage is a competition between two people that who can live longer. Whoever wins gets all of other person's money and stuff!
  • Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going!
    Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going!
  • Wife: I think...<br/>
Husband: Exactly!<br/>
Wife: But I haven't said anything yet!<br/>
Husband: Doesn't matter. You're always right!
    Wife: I think...
    Husband: Exactly!
    Wife: But I haven't said anything yet!
    Husband: Doesn't matter. You're always right!
  • Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
    Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
  • No response is a response. And it's a powerful one. Remember that!
    No response is a response. And it's a powerful one. Remember that!
  • If you think success will come overnight, you're fooling yourself. Don't forget to keep the long-term picture in mind!
    If you think success will come overnight, you're fooling yourself. Don't forget to keep the long-term picture in mind!
  • I never cried at weddings, except for the last one when the preacher asked me if I do!
    I never cried at weddings, except for the last one when the preacher asked me if I do!
  • Spending today complaining about yesterday won't make tomorrow any better.<br/>
You need to try hard to make it better!
    Spending today complaining about yesterday won't make tomorrow any better.
    You need to try hard to make it better!
  • The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at 4 am is discovering that some people do it on purpose so they can exercise.<br/>
What's wrong with these people!
    The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at 4 am is discovering that some people do it on purpose so they can exercise.
    What's wrong with these people!
  • I don't know what my superpower is but I'm positive my greatest weakness is chips and dip!
    I don't know what my superpower is but I'm positive my greatest weakness is chips and dip!