|Wife just called: "Three girls in my office just received flowers, they're absolutely gorgeous."|
I replied: That's probably why they received flowers!
|Life doesn't always give you the people you want;|
Sometimes it takes away the people you need the most!
|You gain confidence and grow stronger by every experience in which you really push yourself to do something you didn't think you could do!|
|This morning I made sure my wife woke up with a big smile on her face.|
I'm not allowed Sharpies in the bedroom anymore!
|I hate when I finish two cheeseburgers, fries, and an apple pie...|
then remember I was supposed to eat a handful of almonds!
|My wife kept going on and on about what she should use the empty drawer for.|
Eventually, I told her to put a sock in it!
|Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one because those who fly solo often have the strongest wings!|
|Working out sucks but the results are awesome. Being lazy is awesome but the results suck!|
|If you stand for a reason, be prepared to stand like a tree. If you fall onto the ground, fall like a seed that grows back to fight again!|
|I got married twice and both of my marriages were disasters.|
My first wife left me. My second one didn't!