• Santa: After watching "Bhaag Milkha Bhaag" last night, I had a disturbed sleep.
    Banta: What happened?
    Santa: This morning I dreamed someone was shouting, "On your marks, get set, go!" And I woke up with a start!
  • Doctor: I haven't seen you for a long time.<br />
Santa: I know, doctor, I've been ill!Upload to Facebook
    Doctor: I haven't seen you for a long time.
    Santa: I know, doctor, I've been ill!
  • Santa: Last night, I had a fantastic dream about Katrina Kaif, Sonakshi Sinha and Priyanka Chopra.
    Banta: Wow! Then what happened?
    Santa: I beat them all at Monopoly!
  • Santa: My memory is so bad.<br/>
Banta: How bad is it?<br/>
Santa: How bad is what?Upload to Facebook
    Santa: My memory is so bad.
    Banta: How bad is it?
    Santa: How bad is what?
  • Banta: My wife has lost her voice. How can I help her get it back?
    Santa: Try coming home at three o'clock in the morning.
  • Banta: I thought you said this camp had no mosquitoes?
    Santa: That's right. These mosquitoes come from the camp down the road.
  • Santa: Doctor, my wife is running a temperature.<br />
Doctor: Is she hot?<br />
Santa: Well, with a little make-up and short shirt...Upload to Facebook
    Santa: Doctor, my wife is running a temperature.
    Doctor: Is she hot?
    Santa: Well, with a little make-up and short shirt...
  • Banta: Why did God make alcohol?
    Santa: So that the Punjabis wouldn't take over the world!
  • Santa and Banta met in the street.
    Banta: Where are you coming from?
    Santa: The cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law.
    Banta: Oh, I'm sorry. But what are those scratches on your face?
    Santa: She put up a heck of a fight!
  • Completely irked, Jeeto was waiting for Santa at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.
    "I assume", snarled Jeeto, "That there's a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at eight o'clock in the morning!"
    "There is", said Santa.
    "Breakfast!"
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