• Santa: My mistress is well pissed off with me after last night.
    Banta: What happened?
    Santa: I got really drunk and ended up waking up in the wrong house. My wife was glad to see me, though...
  • Santa: My in-laws gifted me a car on my 10th wedding anniversary.<br />
Banta: What model is the car?<br />
Santa: It's not a model; it's a horrible example!
    Santa: My in-laws gifted me a car on my 10th wedding anniversary.
    Banta: What model is the car?
    Santa: It's not a model; it's a horrible example!
  • Santa: A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house.<br />
Banta: So sad. Which part did he get?<br />
Santa: He got the outside!
    Santa: A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house.
    Banta: So sad. Which part did he get?
    Santa: He got the outside!
  • Santa: We ran into our neighbours yesterday. All my wife's fault.
    Banta (confused): Wife's fault?
    Santa: Actually, she was driving!
  • Santa: I got into trouble with my wife again...<br />
Banta: How?<br />
Santa: She came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number!
    Santa: I got into trouble with my wife again...
    Banta: How?
    Santa: She came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number!
  • Santa: I always give waiters a tip.<br />
Banta: That's nice of you.<br />
Santa: But somehow, they never seem to appreciate my advice!
    Santa: I always give waiters a tip.
    Banta: That's nice of you.
    Santa: But somehow, they never seem to appreciate my advice!
  • Santa: My wife thinks I'm too nosey...<br />
Banta: What makes you infer so?<br />
Santa: At least, that's what she wrote in her diary!
    Santa: My wife thinks I'm too nosey...
    Banta: What makes you infer so?
    Santa: At least, that's what she wrote in her diary!
  • Santa: I would have been a very successful man but for Newton?<br />
Banta: How's Newton responsible for it?<br />
Santa: Gravity always gets me down!
    Santa: I would have been a very successful man but for Newton?
    Banta: How's Newton responsible for it?
    Santa: Gravity always gets me down!
  • Santa: My doctor told me to start killing people.
    Banta: Which crazy doctor is this?
    Santa: Well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing, really!
  • Man in lake: Help! Help! I can't swim!<br />
Drunk Santa on the park bench: So what? Even I can't play the harmonium, but I'm not shouting about it!
    Man in lake: Help! Help! I can't swim!
    Drunk Santa on the park bench: So what? Even I can't play the harmonium, but I'm not shouting about it!