• Barber: You are losing your hair fast, Sir. Are you doing anything to save it?
    Banta: Yes, I'm getting a divorce!
  • Santa: My wife told me that I should learn to embrace my mistakes.<br />
Banta: So what did you do?<br />
Santa: I cried and hugged her!
    Santa: My wife told me that I should learn to embrace my mistakes.
    Banta: So what did you do?
    Santa: I cried and hugged her!
  • Doctor: Do you drink to excess?<br />
Santa: I'll drink to anything!
    Doctor: Do you drink to excess?
    Santa: I'll drink to anything!
  • Santa and Banta are drinking at a bar when Banta falls off his stool and slumps motionless to the floor.
    Santa says to the bartender, "I'll say this for Banta, he knows when to stop!"
  • Jeeto: This is the last time I tell you about coming home drunk.<br />
Santa: Good, because I'm sick of hearing it!
    Jeeto: This is the last time I tell you about coming home drunk.
    Santa: Good, because I'm sick of hearing it!
  • Barber: I have a hair-raising story.
    Banta: Tell it to some bald-headed man!
  • Barber: Will you have anything on your face when I've finished?
    Banta: I don't know, but I hope you'll at least leave my nose!
  • Santa: My drinking is getting out of hand.
    Banta: That's a thing of concern.
    Santa: Yes, sure it is. I dropped 3 pegs last night!
  • Santa: Our dog doesn't eat meat.
    Banta: Why not?
    Santa: We don't give him any.
  • Santa: My wife left me because of my views on the environment.
    Banta: That's really weird.
    Santa: Yeah, it really is. I only tried saving water by showering with the woman next door!