|Barber: You are losing your hair fast, Sir. Are you doing anything to save it?|
Banta: Yes, I'm getting a divorce!
|Santa: My wife told me that I should learn to embrace my mistakes.|
Banta: So what did you do?
Santa: I cried and hugged her!
|Doctor: Do you drink to excess?|
Santa: I'll drink to anything!
|Santa and Banta are drinking at a bar when Banta falls off his stool and slumps motionless to the floor.|
Santa says to the bartender, "I'll say this for Banta, he knows when to stop!"
|Jeeto: This is the last time I tell you about coming home drunk.|
Santa: Good, because I'm sick of hearing it!
|Barber: I have a hair-raising story.|
Banta: Tell it to some bald-headed man!
|Barber: Will you have anything on your face when I've finished?|
Banta: I don't know, but I hope you'll at least leave my nose!
|Santa: My drinking is getting out of hand.|
Banta: That's a thing of concern.
Santa: Yes, sure it is. I dropped 3 pegs last night!
|Santa: Our dog doesn't eat meat.|
Banta: Why not?
Santa: We don't give him any.
|Santa: My wife left me because of my views on the environment. |
Banta: That's really weird.
Santa: Yeah, it really is. I only tried saving water by showering with the woman next door!