|Banta: Where did you get that umbrella?|
Santa: It was a gift from sister.
Banta: You never had any sister.
Santa: I know - but that's what's engraved on the handle!
|Santa: My grandfather's death was ironic.|
Santa: He died in his living room!
|Santa went into a bar and called for a glass of whisky and water.|
Having tasted it, he exclaimed, "Which did you put in first, the whisky or the water?"
"The whisky, of course," the waiter replied.
"Ah, well," said Santa, "Perhaps I'll come to it by and by"!
|Santa: What do you want for your birthday?|
Jeeto: A divorce.
Santa: I wasn't thinking of spending that much!
|Santa: Good evening! Thought I'd drop in and see you about the umbrella you borrowed from me last week.|
Banta: I'm sorry, but I lent it to a friend of mine. Were you wanting it?
Santa: Well, not for myself, but the fellow I borrowed it from says the owner wants it!
|Banta: What's marriage?|
Santa: Marriage is the 7th sense of human that destroys all the 6 senses and makes the person nonsense!
|Santa gets home from a visit to the dentist. His wife asks in concern, `Does your tooth still hurt?` |
Santa:I don't know he kept it.
|Banta: I was sorry to hear you cremated your mother last week.|
Santa: We had to. She was dead!
|Bar owner: You can't stand here. You're blocking the fire exit.|
Santa: Don't worry. If there's a fire, I won't be standing here!
|Santa: My grandmother died on her ninety-second birthday.|
Banta: That's a long life. But how did she die? Any ailment?
Santa: No illness. She passed away when we were only halfway through giving her the birthday bumps!