|Banta: How long did it take your wife to learn to drive?|
Santa: It will be ten years in October!
|Santa to his driver, Jasbir, "I found this long brown hair on the back seat of my limousine. My wife's hair is black".|
Jasbir: I'll give you an explanation, Sir.
Santa: Explanation nothing! What I want is an introduction!
|Jeeto: Why do you wear specs whenever I come come?|
Santa: The doctor told me to wear them whenever I see signs of headache!
|Banta: Did you ever hear from your neighbour who borrowed Rs 5000 from you?|
Santa: Every night. He used the money for a down payment on a TV set!
|Banta: My wife drives me to drink.|
Santa: You're lucky. I have to walk!
|Santa was challaned and he was asked to appear in court.|
Judge: The traffic officer says you got sarcastic with him.
Santa: But I didn't intend to be. He talked to me like my wife does, and I forget myself and answered, "Yes, my dear!"
|Santa to a fellow Delhi Metro passenger, "Pardon me, when does Connaught Place station arrive?"|
Fellow Passenger: Just watch me get off one station after you do.
Santa: Thank you!
|Santa: May I have some stationery?|
Hotel Receptionist (haughtily): Are you a guest of the house?
Santa: Hell, no. I am paying 3000 Rupees a day!
|Policeman: How did the accident happen?|
Santa: My wife fell asleep in the back seat!
|Santa got coaxed and bought an offbeat car brand. He went to the Car salesman and said, "You sold me a car two weeks ago".|
Salesman: Yes , sir.
Santa: Tell me again all you said about it then. I'm getting discouraged!