|Santa: After watching "Bhaag Milkha Bhaag" last night, I had a disturbed sleep.|
Banta: What happened?
Santa: This morning I dreamed someone was shouting, "On your marks, get set, go!" And I woke up with a start!
|Doctor: I haven't seen you for a long time.|
Santa: I know, doctor, I've been ill!
|Santa: Last night, I had a fantastic dream about Katrina Kaif, Sonakshi Sinha and Priyanka Chopra.|
Banta: Wow! Then what happened?
Santa: I beat them all at Monopoly!
|Santa: My memory is so bad.|
Banta: How bad is it?
Santa: How bad is what?
|Banta: My wife has lost her voice. How can I help her get it back?|
Santa: Try coming home at three o'clock in the morning.
|Banta: I thought you said this camp had no mosquitoes?|
Santa: That's right. These mosquitoes come from the camp down the road.
|Santa: Doctor, my wife is running a temperature.|
Doctor: Is she hot?
Santa: Well, with a little make-up and short shirt...
|Banta: Why did God make alcohol?|
Santa: So that the Punjabis wouldn't take over the world!
|Santa and Banta met in the street.|
Banta: Where are you coming from?
Santa: The cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law.
Banta: Oh, I'm sorry. But what are those scratches on your face?
Santa: She put up a heck of a fight!
|Completely irked, Jeeto was waiting for Santa at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.|
"I assume", snarled Jeeto, "That there's a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at eight o'clock in the morning!"
"There is", said Santa.