|Santa: What do you want for your birthday?|
Jeeto: A divorce.
Santa: I wasn't thinking of spending that much!
|Santa: Good evening! Thought I'd drop in and see you about the umbrella you borrowed from me last week.|
Banta: I'm sorry, but I lent it to a friend of mine. Were you wanting it?
Santa: Well, not for myself, but the fellow I borrowed it from says the owner wants it!
|Banta: What's marriage?|
Santa: Marriage is the 7th sense of human that destroys all the 6 senses and makes the person nonsense!
|Santa gets home from a visit to the dentist. His wife asks in concern, `Does your tooth still hurt?` |
Santa:I don't know he kept it.
|Banta: I was sorry to hear you cremated your mother last week.|
Santa: We had to. She was dead!
|Bar owner: You can't stand here. You're blocking the fire exit.|
Santa: Don't worry. If there's a fire, I won't be standing here!
|Santa: My grandmother died on her ninety-second birthday.|
Banta: That's a long life. But how did she die? Any ailment?
Santa: No illness. She passed away when we were only halfway through giving her the birthday bumps!
|Jeeto yelled at Santa, "You're gonna be really SORRY. I'm going to LEAVE you!"|
Santa: Make up your mind. Which is it gonna be?
|Santa: After years of threatening to leave, last night my wife finally broke my heart.|
Banta: Oh my God! So she left/
Santa: No. She's staying!
|Immediately after his annual examination, Santa with a multitude of problems asked anxiously, "Doctor, how do I stand?"|
"That's what puzzles me!" replied the doctor.