• Banta: How long did it take your wife to learn to drive?<br />
Santa: It will be ten years in October!
    Banta: How long did it take your wife to learn to drive?
    Santa: It will be ten years in October!
  • Santa to his driver, Jasbir, "I found this long brown hair on the back seat of my limousine. My wife's hair is black".
    Jasbir: I'll give you an explanation, Sir.
    Santa: Explanation nothing! What I want is an introduction!
  • Jeeto: Why do you wear specs whenever I come come?
    Santa: The doctor told me to wear them whenever I see signs of headache!
  • Banta: Did you ever hear from your neighbour who borrowed Rs 5000 from you?<br />
Santa: Every night. He used the money for a down payment on a TV set!
    Banta: Did you ever hear from your neighbour who borrowed Rs 5000 from you?
    Santa: Every night. He used the money for a down payment on a TV set!
  • Banta: My wife drives me to drink.<br />
Santa: You're lucky. I have to walk!
    Banta: My wife drives me to drink.
    Santa: You're lucky. I have to walk!
  • Santa was challaned and he was asked to appear in court.
    Judge: The traffic officer says you got sarcastic with him.
    Santa: But I didn't intend to be. He talked to me like my wife does, and I forget myself and answered, "Yes, my dear!"
  • Santa to a fellow Delhi Metro passenger, "Pardon me, when does Connaught Place station arrive?"
    Fellow Passenger: Just watch me get off one station after you do.
    Santa: Thank you!
  • Santa: May I have some stationery?
    Hotel Receptionist (haughtily): Are you a guest of the house?
    Santa: Hell, no. I am paying 3000 Rupees a day!
  • Policeman: How did the accident happen?<br />
Santa: My wife fell asleep in the back seat!
    Policeman: How did the accident happen?
    Santa: My wife fell asleep in the back seat!
  • Santa got coaxed and bought an offbeat car brand. He went to the Car salesman and said, "You sold me a car two weeks ago".
    Salesman: Yes , sir.
    Santa: Tell me again all you said about it then. I'm getting discouraged!