• Santa: Is this tea or coffee? It tastes exactly like kerosene.
    Waiter: If it tastes like kerosene, it's positively tea - because our coffee tastes like turpentine!
  • Banta: Has your wife learned to drive the car yet?<br />
Santa: Yes. In an advisory capacity!
    Banta: Has your wife learned to drive the car yet?
    Santa: Yes. In an advisory capacity!
  • Banta: If a tiger attacks your mother-in-law and your wife at the same time, whom would you save?
    Santa: Of course, the tiger.
    Banta: But why?
    Santa: Very few are left!
  • Santa: What are the fastest means of communication?
    Banta: Telephone, Television and Tell-a-woman!
  • Santa: What did you do with the money you robbed from the bank?
    Banta: I deposited it in the same bank!
  • Banta: How long did it take your wife to learn to drive?<br />
Santa: It will be ten years in October!
    Banta: How long did it take your wife to learn to drive?
    Santa: It will be ten years in October!
  • Santa to his driver, Jasbir, "I found this long brown hair on the back seat of my limousine. My wife's hair is black".
    Jasbir: I'll give you an explanation, Sir.
    Santa: Explanation nothing! What I want is an introduction!
  • Jeeto: Why do you wear specs whenever I come come?
    Santa: The doctor told me to wear them whenever I see signs of headache!
  • Banta: Did you ever hear from your neighbour who borrowed Rs 5000 from you?<br />
Santa: Every night. He used the money for a down payment on a TV set!
    Banta: Did you ever hear from your neighbour who borrowed Rs 5000 from you?
    Santa: Every night. He used the money for a down payment on a TV set!
  • Banta: My wife drives me to drink.<br />
Santa: You're lucky. I have to walk!
    Banta: My wife drives me to drink.
    Santa: You're lucky. I have to walk!