• Santa was challaned and he was asked to appear in court.
    Judge: The traffic officer says you got sarcastic with him.
    Santa: But I didn't intend to be. He talked to me like my wife does, and I forget myself and answered, "Yes, my dear!"
  • Santa to a fellow Delhi Metro passenger, "Pardon me, when does Connaught Place station arrive?"
    Fellow Passenger: Just watch me get off one station after you do.
    Santa: Thank you!
  • Santa: May I have some stationery?
    Hotel Receptionist (haughtily): Are you a guest of the house?
    Santa: Hell, no. I am paying 3000 Rupees a day!
  • Policeman: How did the accident happen?<br />
Santa: My wife fell asleep in the back seat!
    Policeman: How did the accident happen?
    Santa: My wife fell asleep in the back seat!
  • Santa got coaxed and bought an offbeat car brand. He went to the Car salesman and said, "You sold me a car two weeks ago".
    Salesman: Yes , sir.
    Santa: Tell me again all you said about it then. I'm getting discouraged!
  • Santa, while driving home, met with an accident after getting drunk and became unconscious.
    Soon after waking up, he muttered, "Where am I? Where am I?"
    Nurse: This is number 231.
    Santa: Room or cell?
  • Santa complains to Banta, "I can't take it anymore".
    Banta: What's wrong?
    Santa: It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!
    "You mean hysterical", chuckled Banta.
    "No, I mean HISTORICAL," Santa insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go - I still remember that time when you..."
  • Santa: I clearly had the right of way when this man ran into me, and yet you say I was to blame.
    Local officer: You certainly were.
    Santa: Why?
    Local Officer: Because his father is an MLA, his brother is an SP and I am going around with his sister!
  • Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender, `Was I in here last night?`<br />
`You certainly were`, replies the bartender.<br />
`And did I spend a lot of money?` Santa asked.<br />
`You spent over Rs. 10000`, replies the bartender.<br />
`Thank god for that`, says Santa, `I thought I'd wasted it`!
    Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Was I in here last night?"
    "You certainly were", replies the bartender.
    "And did I spend a lot of money?" Santa asked.
    "You spent over Rs. 10000", replies the bartender.
    "Thank god for that", says Santa, "I thought I'd wasted it"!
  • Santa: Every time the doorbell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner.
    Banta: Why so?
    Santa: He's a boxer.