|Banta: Why did God make alcohol?|
Santa: So that the Punjabis wouldn't take over the world!
|Santa and Banta met in the street.|
Banta: Where are you coming from?
Santa: The cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law.
Banta: Oh, I'm sorry. But what are those scratches on your face?
Santa: She put up a heck of a fight!
|Completely irked, Jeeto was waiting for Santa at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.|
"I assume", snarled Jeeto, "That there's a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at eight o'clock in the morning!"
"There is", said Santa.
|Santa: My daughter's music lessons are a fortune to me.|
Banta: How is that?
Santa:They enabled me to buy the neighbor's house at half price.
|Banta: Where did you get that umbrella?|
Santa: It was a gift from sister.
Banta: You never had any sister.
Santa: I know - but that's what's engraved on the handle!
|Santa: My grandfather's death was ironic.|
Santa: He died in his living room!
|Santa went into a bar and called for a glass of whisky and water.|
Having tasted it, he exclaimed, "Which did you put in first, the whisky or the water?"
"The whisky, of course," the waiter replied.
"Ah, well," said Santa, "Perhaps I'll come to it by and by"!
|Santa: What do you want for your birthday?|
Jeeto: A divorce.
Santa: I wasn't thinking of spending that much!
|Santa: Good evening! Thought I'd drop in and see you about the umbrella you borrowed from me last week.|
Banta: I'm sorry, but I lent it to a friend of mine. Were you wanting it?
Santa: Well, not for myself, but the fellow I borrowed it from says the owner wants it!
|Banta: What's marriage?|
Santa: Marriage is the 7th sense of human that destroys all the 6 senses and makes the person nonsense!