• Half the people you know are below average.
  • Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
  • A fool and his money are soon partying.
  • The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism-to steal from many is research.
  • The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it
  • Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
  • 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case.....coincidence?
  • Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.