• I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
  • I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.
  • There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
  • I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.
  • I have a full-size map of the world. At the bottom it says `1 inch = 1 inch`. I hardly ever unroll it.
  • It`s a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
  • I`m moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.
  • I saw a bank that said `24 Hour Banking`, but I don`t have that much time.
  • I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.
  • I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.