• When some people pay a compliment they expect a receipt.
  • If you're going nowhere, at least you know your destination.
  • Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
  • I've just replaced my shoelaces with earphones. Now they tie themselves.
  • At today's prices, the entire supermarket is a gourmet section.
  • First a politician talks through his hat - then he throws it in the ring.
  • A moron always has other morons who think he's clever.
  • The difference between a husband and a lover is day and night.
  • The best hands to depend on are the ones at the end of your rolled-up sleeves.
  • If someone conducts himself well, then can he be declared as good Conductor!