• Good girls = Bad Girls that never get caught.
  • I either get what I want or I change my mind.
  • Anyone can be cool but awesome takes practice!
  • A smile is like a tight underwear ... it makes your cheeks go up.
  • A man's last will and testament is a dead give away.
  • To make a long story short, don't tell it.
  • Cocaine is god's way of telling you that you make too much money.
  • Have you ever wondered why you can't taste your tongue?
  • When a pessimist has nothing to worry about, he worries about why he has nothing to worry about.
  • I am not single, I'm romantically challenged.