• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  • Most of the shadows in our life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
  • When I'm right, no one remembers. When I'm wrong, no one forgets.
  • Life is not complicated, people are.
  • Life is like toilet paper. Either you're on a roll or you're taking shit from some asshole!
  • Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
  • The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.
  • The only disability in life is a bad attitude.
  • Happiness is a warm puppy.
  • Life without liberty is like a body without spirit.