|Wife: Do I look fat?|
Husband: Do I look stupid to answer that?
|When my wife makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail.|
It heals me spiritually!
|All married men say after many years of marriage:|
"Our marriage is based on trust and understanding."
She doesn't trust me and I don't understand her!
|My wife's left me because I've eaten far too much chocolate over the Christmas period. |
I think this calls for a celebration!
|Friend: In which field, does your husband work?|
Wife: Oil & Gas.
Friend: Wow... where is he based?
|Life was so simple before I got married.|
I had absolutely no idea that there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge!
|Advice for married people|
Never laugh at your wife's choices... because you are one of them.
Never be proud of your choices... your wife is one of them!
|I'm not saying my wife is ugly but...|
She's just been next door to tell the neighbours to turn their TV down and they gave her some sweets!
|A refresher for ladies:|
A question was asked why women don't confide in their husbands about their problems and frustrations.
Someone answered, "You cannot discuss your Malaria with the Mosquito"!
|My wife apologised for the first time ever today! |
She said she's sorry she ever married me!