• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  • There are two kinds of fishermen: those who fish for sport and those who catch something!
  • When all else fails, lower your standards.
  • Ulcers aren't the result of what you eat. You get ulcers from what's eating you.
  • If sleep is so important then why do schools start so early?
  • Don't steal. That's the government's job.Upload to Facebook
    Don't steal. That's the government's job.
  • Do computers files get embarrassed when they're unzipped?Upload to Facebook
    Do computers files get embarrassed when they're unzipped?
  • I went to our local bookshop to buy a book about conspiracies. There were none there. Coincidence?Upload to Facebook
    I went to our local bookshop to buy a book about conspiracies. There were none there. Coincidence?
  • It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.Upload to Facebook
    It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.
  • Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen!
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