• I invented the cordless extension cord.
  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  • Don`t hate me because I am good, Hate me because I know it!
  • Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • I`m responsible for what I say. I am not responsible for what you understand.
  • The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
  • By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.