• I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him.
  • Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  • The only thing I like about rich people is their money.
  • Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.
  • A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
  • Fight back! Fill out your tax forms in Roman numerals.
  • It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.
  • I don't want to be a millionaire. I just want to live like one.
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