• Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
  • WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
  • No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.
  • Summer must be over. My neighbour just returned my lawn furniture.
  • The only way to avoid mistakes is to gain experience. The only way to gain experience is to make a mistake.
  • A person who lives in a glass house should change clothes in the basement.
  • A person who smiles in the face of adversity, probably has a scapegoat.
  • Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
  • If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.
  • Weather forecast for tonight: Dark!