• Some people are like blisters, they don't show up until the work is done.
  • Mondays are God's punishment for what we did on the weekend.
  • Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
  • A lawyer is someone who writes an eighty-page document and calls it a brief!
  • I am so so broke that I can't even pay attention.
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.
  • Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
  • After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
  • Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.