• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  • I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
  • You're just like Mondays. Nobody likes you.
  • I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
  • Teamwork gives you someone else to blame.
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  • That`s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
  • Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.
  • Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
  • The trouble with the legal profession is that 98% of its members give the rest a bad name.