• I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
    ~ Woody Allen
  • What's the three words you never want to hear while making love?
    Honey, I'm home.
    ~ Ken Hammond
  • My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
    ~ Woody Allen
  • Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.
    ~ Bob Hope
  • I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
    ~ Bernard Manning
  • A nymphomaniac is a woman as obsessed with sex as the average man.
    ~ Mignon McLaughlin
  • Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.
    ~ Gabriel Garci­a Marquez
  • The only time my wife gets hot is when she burns her hand while cooking.
    ~ JD Ghai
  • When you see a woman sitting with her legs open, never tell her to close them, because you do not know her source of fresh air.
    ~ Ethiopian Proverb
  • The anger of a penis doesn't destroy the vagina.
    ~ Zimbabwen Proverb
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