• I shall sustain a massive erection, that's what, and I shan't be answerable for the consequences. Some kind of ejaculation is almost bound to ensue and if either of you were to become pregnant I should never forgive myself.
    ~ Stephen Fry, The Liar
  • My love comes in three sizes: Small, medium, and fully erect.
    My love comes in three sizes: Small, medium, and fully erect.
    ~ Jarod Kintz
  • If they didn't show it on the screen, most people would never know  about oral sex.
    If they didn't show it on the screen, most people would never know about oral sex.
    ~ Mary Whitehouse
  • My biggest sex fantasy is we're making love and I realize I'm out of debt.
    My biggest sex fantasy is we're making love and I realize I'm out of debt.
    ~ Beth Lapides
  • Laughter serves to neutralize pornography, and is therefore anathema to most pornographers.
    ~ Malcolm Muggeridge
  • The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
    The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
    ~ Dennis Miller
  • I love your lips when they're wet with wine and red with wicked desire.
    I love your lips when they're wet with wine and red with wicked desire.
    ~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox
  • I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.
    ~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo
  • I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
    I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
    ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  • She has eyes that folks adore so, and a torso even more so.
    ~ Groucho Marx
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