|There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.|
|I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.|
|Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.|
|Society can overlook murder, adultery or swindling; it never forgives preaching of a new gospel.|
|Don't do it behind the garden gate. Love is blind but the neighbors ain't!|
|A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry and asks him did you see anything there that you weren't supposed to see?|
Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
|Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.|