• I can live for two months on a good compliment.
    ~ Mark Twain
  • Politicians and drapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
    Politicians and drapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
    ~ Mark Twain
  • God writes a lot of comedy, the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
    God writes a lot of comedy, the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
    ~ Garrison Keillor
  • Analyzing humour is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
    ~ E. B. White
  • Just tell me when and where and I'll be there 20 minutes late.
    ~ Author Unknown
  • Adulthood is like losing your mother in the grocery store for your whole life.
    Adulthood is like losing your mother in the grocery store for your whole life.
    ~ Author Unknown
  • Some people are such treasures that you really just want to bury them.
    Some people are such treasures that you really just want to bury them.
    ~ Author Unknown
  • When someone close to you dies, move seats.
    ~ Peter Kay
  • A date is an experience with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.
    ~ Larry David
  • It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
    ~ Robert Frost