• My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
    ~ Mitch Hedberg
  • I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.
    I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.
    ~ Henny Youngman
  • Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
    Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard
  • Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
    ~ Cary Grant
  • Ninety per cent of the politicians give the other 10% a bad reputation.
    Ninety per cent of the politicians give the other 10% a bad reputation.
    ~ Henry Kissinger
  • Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses.
    Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses.
    ~ Lord Dewar
  • My gosh this is a place with lots of strange people around... but I feel very comfortable here, so I must be one of them.
    ~ Paul Garabedian
  • We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like.
    ~ Jean Cocteau
  • Some people are very decisive when it comes to avoiding decisions.
    ~ Brendan Francis Behan
  • Free cheese is only found in a mousetrap
    Free cheese is only found in a mousetrap
    ~ Paulo Coelho