• When my phone battery is at 50%, the half full vs. half empty view depends on if it's plugged in or not!
    When my phone battery is at 50%, the half full vs. half empty view depends on if it's plugged in or not!
  • We live in a world where calling a woman 'a man' is sort of a compliment but calling a man 'a woman' is considered nothing but insult and abuse!
    We live in a world where calling a woman 'a man' is sort of a compliment but calling a man 'a woman' is considered nothing but insult and abuse!
  • If society let kids follow their dreams then there would be a lot more of astronauts!
    If society let kids follow their dreams then there would be a lot more of astronauts!
  • My margin of error is limitless!
    My margin of error is limitless!
  • It's amazing how unforgiving we are towards bugs, we will straight up kill them for even coming near us!
    It's amazing how unforgiving we are towards bugs, we will straight up kill them for even coming near us!
  • English is a language where 'meat' and 'great' don't rhyme but 'pony' and 'bologna' do!
    English is a language where 'meat' and 'great' don't rhyme but 'pony' and 'bologna' do!
  • You never realize how little you know about someone until you have to buy them a birthday present!
    You never realize how little you know about someone until you have to buy them a birthday present!
  • There was a time when people used to like their phone ringing in public so they could show off their ringtone.<br/>
Now everyone gets pissed at your phone making the slightest noise!
    There was a time when people used to like their phone ringing in public so they could show off their ringtone.
    Now everyone gets pissed at your phone making the slightest noise!
  • Dusting is when you wipe the dust off of something. Dusting is also when you sprinkle the powder on something. Dusting's antonym is dusting!
    Dusting is when you wipe the dust off of something. Dusting is also when you sprinkle the powder on something. Dusting's antonym is dusting!
  • It's weird to think that night time is the actual state of the universe, and daytime is caused by nearby, radiating ball of flame!
    It's weird to think that night time is the actual state of the universe, and daytime is caused by nearby, radiating ball of flame!