• What's so unpleasant about being drunk?, Ask a glass of water!
    What's so unpleasant about being drunk?, Ask a glass of water!
    ~ Douglas Adams
  • Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
    Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
    ~ Lemony Snicket
  • A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
    ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein
  • Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.
    Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.
    ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
  • I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
    I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
    ~ Marilyn Monroe
  • Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
    ~ George Bernard Shaw
  • He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
    ~ William Shakespeare
  • I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
    ~ Rita Rudner
  • Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
    ~ George Eliot
  • I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
    I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
    ~ Jack Handey