• If necessity is the mother of invention, then frustration is the father of masturbation!
  • Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger !
  • I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed.
  • The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
  • Slogan on a boy's T-shirt: Please tell your boobs not to stare at my eyes.
  • When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the *** of reason goes unwiped.
  • My wife and I finally became sexually compatible... We achieve simultaneous headaches.
  • Men give love to get sex, Women give sex to get love.
  • Most men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born.
  • Fuck a girl & she'll love you... Love a girl & she'll fuck you!