• Success is like masturbation, only ur own hand can let u acheive it.
  • Fate is like getting raped, if u can't fight it learn to enjoy it.
  • I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed
  • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight
  • All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy.
  • Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction
  • Work is like a gangbang, ten people are behind ur ass 2 take ur place.
  • Men are like vacations...They never seem to last long enough
  • You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me
  • Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face