• Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early kill people
  • He loves 'babes', especially those born 16 to 25 years ago.
  • No! Nothing like that! I'm just disabling your "virgin" feature.
  • Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
  • Fighting for peace is like making love for virginity.
  • Women vs. beer: You know you're the first one to pop a beer.
  • You are what you eat? Well that's awkward because you're a dick.
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