• I love blind dates... because you can stare at their tits.
  • If a bulldog and a shitsu are mated, it would be called a "bullshit".
  • Sex is like a Ford Explorer. Going too fast may cause a roll-over injury.
  • Nipples: Nature's thermometer
  • Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it's too long.
  • I'm having a party later in the day for people with premature ejaculation. But feel free to come as early as you wish.
  • When people say "It's better than sex".
    Obviously, they've never had sex with me.
  • The boner stands up for what it believes in.Upload to Facebook
    The boner stands up for what it believes in.
  • I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.
  • Porn is so unrealistic. I delivered pizza for three years, not one girl sucked my dick.
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