|A person who lives hundreds of miles away texting you "I'm drunk and horny" - is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying "I'm fucking delicious"!|
A species that loves Jack Daniels,
Jacking off and Denials!
|69 is the Kamikaze of oral sex. If I'm going down you're coming with me!|
|I decided to go for a jog today. As I set off, I heard clapping behind me. Then I realised, it was my butt cheeks cheering me on!|
|Happiness is like an orgasm.|
It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it!
|Everything happens for a reason,|
Except for things you fuck up by yourself!
|If her bra matches her panties when you take off her clothes, it wasn't you who decided to have sex!|
|According to recent studies, blowjobs are the healthiest breakfast, as it comes with a sausage, 2 nuts and a protein shot.|
Stay healthy girls... suck a dick!
Apparently there is a word "Sad Masty" which means:
To masturbate while crying, and using the tears as lubricant!
|A sentence you will never translate and speak in Hindi... "I took a Selfie!"|