|Santa: Hey, how's your sex life?|
Banta: Non-existent. After tiring herself out on WhatsApp during the day, my wife is in no mood to care about What's Up at night!
|Santa: Son, what do you wanna be when you grow up?|
Pappu: Dad, I want to be a pizza delivery boy.
Pappu: Yeah, or I would like to be a gardener or a plumber.
Santa: You went through my porn videos again, did you?
|Angry neighbour: You slept with my wife, you son of a bitch, I'm gonna make you pay for that.|
Santa: Bullshit, why should I pay TWICE!
|There's a big difference between men and women when they say:|
"I finished an entire box of tissues watching that film last night!"
|To make it straight, she pulls it.|
To make it stand, she rubs it.
To make it stiff, she licks it.
To put it in, she pushes it.
It's hell of a job, threading a needle!
|Irony of Life:|
Wife doesn't get pregnant after many attempts;
And girlfriends get pregnant even after taking precautions!
|My wife and I finally became sexually compatible... now we get simultaneous headaches!|
|The Dick Song at different ages:|
15-18: Pehla Nasha
18-30: Dhoom Macha Le Dhoom
30-40: Kabhi Khusi Kabhi Gham
40-55: Kal Ho Na Ho... 55+ : Pappu can't Dance Sala...
|Ever wondered why women wear panties with printed flowers?|
They want it to be watered with a hose!
|A young lady walks into a doctors office.|
Lady: Doctor, I'm suffering from a terrible discharge."
The Doctor lays her down lifts up her dress and has a good probe around and says "how does that feel?"
Lady: Oooh doctor, that feels lovely... but the discharge is from my ear!