• "Hello Joan, you look happy today, what's going on?"
    "Oh Maisie, I am," she replied. "Last night my husband brought home a big tube of KY jelly. He said it would please me greatly. And it did. When he went to the bathroom I smeared it all over the bedroom door and the silly bugger couldn't get back in!"
  • Recommended dosage of Viagra:
    New Girlfriend: No need
    Old Girlfriend: 1/2 tablet
    Mistress: 1 tablet
    Wife: 2 tabs + whisky + blue film + will power + her permission...
  • Sundarta Eh Nahi Ke:
    Nave Kapde Pane;
    Nave Joote Pane;
    Smart Lagna;
    Balki Sundarta Ta Andro Hundi Hai!
    Islayi
    Phullan Wali Panty Paya Karo!
  • Santa got sacked as a local Tambola caller...
    Apparently,
    "A MEAL FOR TWO WITH A TERRIBLE VIEW",
    was not the best way to call a number!
  • Drawing is the second best thing in the world - which requires, your hand and imagination simultaneously!
  • The ambitious Personal Secretary went out for dinner with her boss and when the bill arrived she said, "I must insist that we go Dutch I suggest you pay for dinner and the rest of the evening will be on me!"
  • After an hour of playing Bridge and getting beaten every time, the husband excused himself to go to the bathroom.
    As he left the room, the wife turned to her hosts and remarked scornfully. "This'll be the first time I've known what's in his hand all night!"
  • Women and tax forms have a lot in common... Men love to cheat on them!
  • Jeeto: Did you notice the cricket team ogling that girl as she walked by?<br />
Santa: What cricket team?
    Jeeto: Did you notice the cricket team ogling that girl as she walked by?
    Santa: What cricket team?
  • Why are pubic hair curly?
    If they weren't, they would blind you!