• Love is not measured by hugging, kissing and sex. It is all about trusting, respecting and accepting a guy with open legs, closed eyes and wet lips and saying,
    "Push it in"!
  • Santa walks into a crowded bar pointing a gun around, "Who the fuck has been sleeping with my wife?" He shouts out.
    A voice comes from the back, "I don't think you brought enough ammo"!
  • Women's top 7 lies:
    1. I love you
    2. I am a virgin
    3. I hate sex
    4. You're the 1st to touch me
    5. Oh it's too big
    6. I hate sucking
    7. OK but Only once
  • Alcohol does make you more attractive to the opposite sex - after they've drunk enough of it.
  • Santa: I am pissed off by my life.
    Banta: Now what happened?
    Santa: It has become so boring and monotonous that I dreamt of making love to my own wife!
  • Girlfriend: I heard that you were thrown out of the class room.
    Pappu: Yeah, my Maths teacher was responsible for it.
    Girlfriend: What happened?
    Pappu: She asked, "What comes after 69?" Apparently "I do" wasn't the correct answer!
  • There was a young sailor named Bates
    Who danced the fandango on skates.
    But a fall on his cutlass
    Has rendered him nutless,
    And practically useless on dates.
  • Santa: My wife keeps complaining that I'm not willing to commit. She's wrong.
    Banta: I think she is right.
    Santa: Not really. I'm willing to commit
  • An 88-year-old man married a 17-year-old girl. Returning from their honey-moon, he told a friend, "We made love almost every night".
    Friend: How did you manage that at this age?
    "Well,", said the new groom, "We almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..."
  • Q: Why do Jewish women go for circumcised men?
    A: They can't resist anything with 10 per cent off!