|Love is not measured by hugging, kissing and sex. It is all about trusting, respecting and accepting a guy with open legs, closed eyes and wet lips and saying,|
"Push it in"!
|Santa walks into a crowded bar pointing a gun around, "Who the fuck has been sleeping with my wife?" He shouts out.|
A voice comes from the back, "I don't think you brought enough ammo"!
|Women's top 7 lies:|
1. I love you
2. I am a virgin
3. I hate sex
4. You're the 1st to touch me
5. Oh it's too big
6. I hate sucking
7. OK but Only once
|Alcohol does make you more attractive to the opposite sex - after they've drunk enough of it.|
|Santa: I am pissed off by my life.|
Banta: Now what happened?
Santa: It has become so boring and monotonous that I dreamt of making love to my own wife!
|Girlfriend: I heard that you were thrown out of the class room.|
Pappu: Yeah, my Maths teacher was responsible for it.
Girlfriend: What happened?
Pappu: She asked, "What comes after 69?" Apparently "I do" wasn't the correct answer!
|There was a young sailor named Bates|
Who danced the fandango on skates.
But a fall on his cutlass
Has rendered him nutless,
And practically useless on dates.
|Santa: My wife keeps complaining that I'm not willing to commit. She's wrong.|
Banta: I think she is right.
Santa: Not really. I'm willing to commit
|An 88-year-old man married a 17-year-old girl. Returning from their honey-moon, he told a friend, "We made love almost every night".|
Friend: How did you manage that at this age?
"Well,", said the new groom, "We almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..."
|Q: Why do Jewish women go for circumcised men?|
A: They can't resist anything with 10 per cent off!