A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drank blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea"!

Friend 1: Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together. Friend 2: Who?
Friend 1: Your bum cheeks!

A good woman will perform at least 70 chores around the house. Cooking and 69!

I'm sick of people knocking on my door looking for donations.
Just had a woman from sperm bank... Boy, did I give her a mouthful.

You may love a girl very deeply. But you cannot express it more deeper than 5 or 6 inches!

A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea"!

The best way to break up is
.
..
...
....
farting while 69!

2 prostitutes were on their way home after work, in a taxi.
1st: I smell sperm!
2nd: Sorry, I burped!

Our love will never become cold and hollow;
Unless one day, you change and refuse to swallow!

Why do men like big tits and a tight ass?
Because they've got big mouths and little dicks!