Adult and Non Veg Dirty Restricted SMS

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Five men were sitting around the table at a restaurant bragging about who had the largest dick. Finally one guy said, "I'll settle this; let's all put our dicks on the table- that will decide it."
At about that time two fags walked in and were seated. The waiter asked, "Would you gentlemen like to see a menu?"
The fags responded, "Oh!!! No, No, we'll just have the buffet!"
What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?
Push it aside and keep on eating!
Height of Trust:
Two cannibals giving each other a blow-job!
They have made a new drug for depressed lesbians. And they named it... Trycoxagain!
A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drank blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea"!
Friend 1: Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together. Friend 2: Who?
Friend 1: Your bum cheeks!
A good woman will perform at least 70 chores around the house. Cooking and 69!
A good woman will perform at least 70 chores around the house. Cooking and 69!
I'm sick of people knocking on my door looking for donations.
Just had a woman from sperm bank... Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
You may love a girl very deeply. But you cannot express it more deeper than 5 or 6 inches!
A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea"!

Quotes

Pornography: That which excites, whether from approval or disapproval.

Trivia

The brain has an "automatic penis maintenance function" to force erections if unused for too long.

Graffiti

He was a very clumsy lover... so the girl had to put him in her place.